Do You Need to Know More?
by BlakRythem
Summary: UPDATED: What happens if you let four sadisitic reporters interview the Saiyuki Cast?
1. The Monkey

Disclaimer: No... I Don't own Saiyuki or it's characters... I only own the four reporters!

Author's note: Hi! This is my ever first fanfic! So...I beg you to be nice! The four reporters were created by yours truly, and they will be interviewing our beloved Saiyuki cast! And the first in line is Saiyuki's Son Goku!

Son Goku

Hello everyone, my name is Chiharu Daiki, your reporter for today! Today we're going to interview one of our favorite monkey in GENSOMADEN SAIYUKI. Son Goku. Oh, look! There's a monkey up in a tree eating pork buns!

C.D.: Hey Goku, how's it going? I see you're pretty busy eating centillions of pork buns! But can we interview you?

S.G.: Sure! (Munch!) Go ahead!

C.D.: So, what do you do on your free time?

S.G: (Munch) Well, I like to eat, sleep, kill demons, fight with the horny water monster, eat, eat… then after that I eat!

C.D.: I see! Very interesting! So, how did you and Sanzo meet?

S.G.: Sanzo found me caged up. He said I was calling him. Then he took me back to his place, which was a relief because I haven't eaten for 500 years!

C.D.: I see! So what were you doing locked up for 500 years?

S.G.: Well, I mostly played with my friend bird… until he died and I couldn't reach to help him! But on my free time, I sleep and dream of eating roasted beef and bacon!

C.D.: Interesting! So how about Hakkai and Gojyo? How did you meet them?

S.G.: (munch!) It all started when the three Buddhas summoned Sanzo, and told him to catch a guy who killed 1,000 demons! (Cho Gono) At that same time Gojyo was helping Hakkai recover from his injuries. I think Gojyo didn't know who he was then 'cause he just picked up Hakkai who was injured badly! Then Sanzo and I found the guy! Cho Gono was really the former name of Hakkai! Then it kinda got complicated, like Sanzo and Gojyo fighting over Hakkai… of course I fought too, and tried to stop Hakkai from escaping! And then… Oh, I'm pretty sure you watched this episode, "The Fated Guys."

C.D.: Yes. So, you guys are starting to have a lot of enemies! Like, Kougaiji and Homura! So, who's the strongest enemy?

S.G.: You know, it's funny you mentioned them! You like them, don't you? oo

C.D.: TT… You know, let's stay in the subject! Maybe I'll answer that question later! Like in then next world!

S.G.: Hee! Hee! Just kidding! (Munch!) Well, Kougaiji is kind of tough. And Homura is a GOD! Fighting god that is! Homura's immortal, while Kougaiji's not… Kougaiji's the son of Gyumao, while Homura's not… Homura defeated Kougaiji before! So that basically means Homura's the stronger one! Hey! Please don't tell Kougaiji I said that!

C.D.: Don't worry! I won't! (I'll try, at least!) Isn't Lilin the younger sister of Kougaiji?

S.G.: Yeah, she is! But she's only his half sister! Lilin's the daughter of that witch Gyokumen Koushu! So… (Munch!) Why did you mention her?

C.D.: Oh, no special reason! He! He! So tell me, is there a special relationship between you and her?

S.G.: (Drops his pork bun on the ground and turning hot red!) N-No! Of course not! Where do you get these ideas? B-Besides! She's Sanzo's girlf….

Sanzo: I CAN HEAR YOU, YOU STUPID MONKEY! DO YOU SERIOUSLY WANT TO DIE THAT BADLY?

S.G.: (Sweat drop) He! He! I was just kidding, Sanzo! Don't need to point that gun! We have a guest!

C.D.: (sweat drop) Right! Let's skip that one shall we? We're almost done! So, what do you think about 4 guys impersonating you and doing idiotic stuff?

S.G.: (Cross eyed) I think they're stupider than me! Not that I'm stupid! But I think that they're such idiots! And if I ever see them again doing stupid things that we wouldn't do, I'll crush them like a pulp, then they'll be sorry that they ever tried to look like us!

C.D.: Thank you, Goku for having the time to interview you! We really appreciate it!

S.G.: Hey, you want some pork buns?

C.D.: Ehehe! (Sweat drop) No thank you!

Gojyo: Hey, monkey! It's time to leave! Or maybe you want to be left here?

Hakkai: No, I don't think we should leave him here; we still have a mission to accomplish!

Sanzo: Leave him, if you want. That way there won't be two idiots in the car!

Gojyo: Are you picking a fight with me?

Goku: Hey you, guys, come on! Don't leave me! Aww! Sanzo! I'm hungry!

Sanzo:(Hits Goku with a fan, hard!) Shut up stupid monkey!

Hakkai: Okay, okay, stop that now, maybe somebody will get hurt of you rolling around in Hakuryu!

Goku: Hey, you water monster, that's my pork bun!

Gojyo: Finders keepers, stupid monkey!

Goku: I'm not a stupid monkey! You horny water monster!

Gojyo: What did you say, you little…

Sanzo: Shut up, before I KILL YOU!

Goku and Gojyo: (Whimpering) Yes Sir!

Chiharu: (sweat drop) silence….

Chiharu stands there watching the four guys, or you could say, a mother hen, a corrupt monk, a horny water monster, and a stupid monkey go to the west!

Author's note: Sigh... So... What did ya think? Hate it? Love it?Oh well! I WILL still continue this! Our next runner-up will be our beloved water imp! Send your reviews, okay? I'd appreciate it a lot! Til' next time!


	2. The Water Imp

Son Goku

Sha Gojyo

The next day, we found again Sha Gojyo around some women, drinking alcohol and smoking.

Hey! It's me! Meiko Imiru, Chiharu interviewed Son Goku of GENSOMADEN SAIYUKI today we're going to interview Sha Gojyo! (Is that what I think it is? AAAAAHHH! Oh no! It's a HORNY WATER MONSTER! RUN!)

M.I.: Good morning! You must be Sha Gojyo, right?

Gojyo: I am, and you're a little kid! Wait five years from now and maybe I'll ask you out!

M.I.: … NO! That's not why I'm here! (Said with gritted teeth) I'd like to interview you; so that you're beloved fans can see it!

Gojyo: Well, if that's the case, I can't argue! Shoot!

M.I. (mental thought: I'd like to shoot you with a gun!) Ahem, so Gojyo, what do you do these days?

Gojyo: I like to go out with women, smoke, drink liquor, kill more and more demons, and fighting with the stupid monkey!

M.I.: That's nice. How did you meet Hakkai?

Gojyo: Well, he was wounded badly when I found him, so I took him to a doctor, then after a while, I learned we have things a lot in common, like we both like to drink liquor (even though he doesn't get drunk!) and play card games (he denies that he isn't a pro, but he beats me every game we play!)

Then as the stupid monkey explained it yesterday, there was a bit of a mix up, and we met the corrupt monk and the stupid monkey!

M.I.: Hey, aren't you really a god that became mortal?

Gojyo: I don't know any god that has the same name as me! All I know is that I am the only Sha Gojyo in these plains! But that guy Homura called me Kenren Taisho, so… what was up with that? Maybe I'll know one day!

M.I.: Well, can you tell us about your life when you were still a kid?

Gojyo: I don't know… It's too personal for a kid…

M.I.: Oh, too bad! Sigh! The ladies will really be disappointed not to know more about Gojyo…

Gojyo: Ladies? On second thought maybe I could tell you some of it!

M.I.: Great! So tell us!

Gojyo: Well, my mom was a human and my dad was a demon. That makes me a taboo child. But my STEPmom tried to kill me; fortunately my brother Jien saved me. I don't know if it is fortunate or unfortunate, really!

M.I.: Oh, you and your brother were really close. His name now is Dokugakuji. I'd like to know, why did he change his name?

Gojyo: Beats me! Maybe Kougaiji gave him a new name, or maybe his last name carried too much pain.What an awfully long name, don't you think? Unlike his real name was shorter and simpler, Jien.

M.I.: I see… Ahem! So! You know what? I got many reports some time ago that a guy that looked like you, Gojyo was dating a little girl… Is that true?

Gojyo: … Ummm… No of course not! Boy! Where do you reporters get this stuff?

M.I.: (Suspicious look) Really?

Gojyo: Really! You're really aggressive for your age!

M.I.: I guess it's just called maturity! Anyway, let's skip that one, shall we? I heard that you entered a drinking contest before! I was just curious! Which one of you is better? You? Or Sanzo?

Gojyo: Ha! That's a good question! Of course I'm better than that corrupt monk!

Sanzo emerges behind Gojyo…

Sanzo: What was that! So! You think you're better than me?

Gojyo: Oh, I don't think! I KNOW!

Sanzo: You want to bet?

Gojyo: You're on, corrupt monk!

Sanzo: We only have one bed in one room! Winner gets to sleep on the bed!

Gojyo: Loser sleeps outside the dirt!

Sanzo and Gojyo: DEAL!

M.I.: (Sweat drop) Well… I guess we'll be witnesses of a drinking contest! I wonder who'll win. Let's find out. Shall we?

A little later!

Hakkai: Well, I guess we have a little drinking contest! It's a shame that I can't join them! Because of them knowing that I'll win easily! So I'll be your referee for today!

Goku: Awww! Sanzo! Why can't I join the drinking contest too?

A flash of lightning blinds us and hits Goku…

Sanzo: (Holding his fan) I told you! You can't!

Goku: Ouch…

Hakkai: Now, that's enough fooling around. Let the competition between Sanzo and Gojyo begin!

Gojyo: He! You know that you'll never win against me!

Sanzo: Hmph! That's what you think, idiot!

Gojyo and Sanzo: RIGHT!

M.I.: As you can see right now, Sanzo and Gojyo are already starting the contests! Sanzo has already drunk 50 bottles of liquor, while Gojyo is behind with only 47 bottles!

Gojyo: Hey! You're starting to look dizzy, monk!

Sanzo: Hmph! Not before you, idiot!

M.I.: (sweat drop) It's a fierce battle, folks! Sanzo's up to 88 bottles, while, Gojyo's behind with 87 bottles!

Gojyo: 'ive it… hic… UP!

Sanzo: (his face already red!) Not…. Yet!

M.I.: Oooh! Gojyo looks dizzy here! And Sanzo is the same way!

Gojyo: Ughhhhhhhhh! (Falls down!)

Sanzo: Ehhhhhh! (Falls down out cold too!)

Hakkai: Well! They both got drunk at the same time! Sanzo has a score of 258 bottles, while Gojyo has 258 bottles too! Well I guess it's a tie!

Well, since they didn't say what they'd do if they were tied, then, I think I'll stay on the bed tonight!

The next day!

Hakkai: Oh, I'm sorry, Meiko! I don't think Gojyo can continue with the interview!

M.I.: Oh, that's okay, Hakkai! I understand completely!

Gojyo comes out of the room.

Gojyo: Hey! Hakkai! What happened yesterday? Who won?

Hakkai: Oh, it was a tie! Both of you had the same number of bottles and you both fell out cold at the same time!

Gojyo: Then, who slept on the bed?

Hakkai: Oh, I did!

Gojyo: What! Then where did I sleep?

Hakkai: On the ground with Goku and Sanzo! Don't worry! There were mats that you slept on!

Gojyo: Grrrrr…

M.I.: (sweat drop) Ehehe! Well! I guess I should be off! Bye Hakkai! Bye Gojyo! Say goodbye to Sanzo and Goku for me!

Hakkai: Oh, we will!


	3. The Mother Hen

Disclaimer: No... I don't own Saiyuki and its characters... I only own the four reporters...

Author's note: Hi, everyone! Me again!I wasn't able to put up a disclaimer and an A.N. last chapter! Oh well! Anyway... Thanks for the reviews! It really encouraged me towrite more! This chapter is about our beloved mother hen, Cho Hakkai!

Cho Hakkai

One week later…

Ohayo! My name is Hiriko Amiya! Anyway, I caught up with GENSOMADEN SAIYUKI'S Cho Hakkai!

Well, I guess you already know the drill! Like Chiharu and Meiko, I'm gonna interview our one and only mother hen!

H.A.: Good morning, Hakkai! How are you today?

Hakkai: I'm fine! I'm in a real good mood today! We just beated up a demon who liked to imitate us a lot!

H.A.: Well, you must have had a lot of fun! Do you mind if we interview you?

Hakkai: Hahaha! You reporters sure pop up a lot these days! Actually, it's kinda fun! Sure, you can interview me!

H.A.: Thank you so much, Hakkai! Moving on now! So, Hakkai, ummm… can you tell us about your past? (sounding hopeful)

Hakkai: Of course! When I was a child, I lived in an orphanage, because my parents died. I was kind of isolated from the other children, and didn't came to close to them, despite me being smart for my age. Then one day, I was sent another town, for a scholarship. I've been there for a long time. Then I met Kana. She was a real special girl. She was my girlfriend.

One day she was kidnapped by demons to be a sacrifice. I went off to rescue her. By then, she already killed herself. And so I killed 1, ooo demons for revenge. Later on, I met Gojyo and after that, I met Sanzo and Goku. I guess you already know much about it!

H.A.: My, that's such a tragic past. I lost somebody close to me too. But we should look forward right? So… I was curious, you never get irritated with Goku and Gojyo's bickering. Why's that?

Hakkai: Well, it's easy not to get irritated. The traveling can be so boring, but Goku and Gojyo's bickering can be entertaining. Plus, I'm not really the stubborn kind of person. I let Sanzo do all the scolding!

H.A.: I see! Then, what are your fondest hobbies, Hakkai?

Hakkai: I'd have to say, doing responsible things…. But if you want to know more, I enjoy playing mah jong, card games(and win) I also drink liquor!

H.A.: Cool! You're more than what you seem! Can I ask, why of all names, you chose Hakkai?

Hakkai: No reason! I just like the name! I always wanted to be called Hakkai! Why, if I had a little pet, I would call him Hakkai!... No… Actually, I wouldn't… I would actually call him Stephan… Or maybe Robert… Hmmmmm….

H.A.: Really? Wow! Can I ask? What do you think of Yaone?

Hakkai: …. She's a great opponent and pharmacist! The Kougaiji ikkou is very lucky to have her really!

H.A.: Of course! Do you like her?

Hakkai: …. Ummmm…. Can I pass that one?

H.A.: Of course you can! Was there ever a time that you snapped because Gojyo and the others seemed so…. Impossible?

Hakkai: Yeah…. Possibly…

H.A.: Can you share to us what you "might" do if they're already too much?

Hakkai: Well… I would "possibly" isolate Gojyo with ravenous bears, with no liquor and cigarettes for five days. Next, I can leave Goku in a room for ten days, with a room-full of… Healthy cuisines! Sanzo….. I can always steal his credit card and buy expensive stuff…. OR I can also isolate him in a room full of cute, adorable, kittens… And one annoying monkey for…. Forty days and forty nights!

H.A.: ….. Okay…. Sweat drop Right! We're almost done, Hakkai! Last question... What are-

Demon: AT LAST! I FINALLY FOUND YOU, CHO HAKKAI!

H.A.: Eh?

Hakkai: (?) Huh? Who are you?

Demon: My name is Zakuro! The most handsome demon in the world! And you massacred my family! points at Hakkai accusingly

Hakkai: Which family?

Zakuro: My family under the rock! I saw you! You crushed a rock with your jeep and killed my family!

Hakkai? What is he talking about? A family under a ROCK?

Chiharu: Oh boy! Get that one to a Mental Hostility!

Zakuro: Still pointing at Hakkai. A few inches away from him. Curse you!

Hakkai: Stretches out his arm and (almost) touched Zakuro on the face.

Zakuro: OOOUUUUCH! THE PAIN! HE TOUCHED MY FACE! THE HORROR!

Hakkai? I didn't even touch him….

H.A.: dumps a bucket of water onto Zakurao (Yeah… Somebody really needs to go easy on the coffee…)

Zakuro: AAAAAHHHH! WATER! THE PAIN! IT BURNS! IT RUINED MY OH-SO BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT HAIR!

H.A.: Somebody get him out of here! Security!

Security: Yes… shoots a tranquilizer to Zakuro

Zakuro falls down, not uttering any more words about his "perfect" appearance.

Hakkai: ….

H.A.: I'm sorry about that, Hakkai! Perhaps we can continue later on… If you mind, that is!

Hakkai: Oh, I'm sorry, Hiriko-san, but Sanzo and the others are waiting for me! Gomen…

H.A.: That's alright! (I'm totally shocked anyway…) SEE YA HAKKAI!  
Hakkai: Ja, Hiriko-san!

Author's note: So... How did you like it? I know... The Zakuro part was kind of weird, but I had to keep the fic alive!I might not be able toupdate because of school!But I'll try to update ! Our next finalist is ourfavorite corrupt monk! Please send to me reviews! It really encourages me to continue the interview!


	4. The Corrupt Monk

Disclaimer: No… I don't own Saiyuki or its characters… I only own the four reporters…

Author's Note: Errr…. Sorry it took so long for me to update, minna! It's school! It's crazy out there that you could already find me torturing innocent Lima Beans… Anyway… This is the fourth interview with… (drum rolls please) The OH-SO chewable and disposable, Corrupt Monk! (For the Sanzo fans… Don't worry! It all ended well!) Sorry for the errors! Grrr! Sadistic Computer!

Genjo Sanzo

Greetings to all! My name is Kiya Mikamura and I'm going to interview GENSOMADEN SAIYUKI's favorite CORRUPT MONK, the one…the only…

Genjo Sanzo!

K.M.: Good morning to you, Sanzo-sama…!

Sanzo: Sanzo…sama? Do I look like an old hag with wrinkles around my eyes!

K.M.: …Umm…Why do You get angry so EASILY, just like old kappas do..?

Sanzo: …..What do you want little girl?

K.M.: I want to interview the famous Sanzo, of course! What's it to 'ya!

Sanzo: How rude…Didn't your parents teach you any manners!

K.M.: Umm…NO. But they DID teach me the art of hypnosis and witchery…

Sanzo: …What? distracted what'd you say earlier?

K.M.: starts loosing her temper I said, look into my eyes!

Sanzo: Yes… Master…currently hypnotized…dragged into a world filled with

Bumblebees, mutated mice, Cans of Lima beans and chew toys..

K.M.: You will let us interview you… For now on… You shall obey everything I tell you…

Sanzo: Yes, master….

K.M.: Now… I order you to go back to your normal state…

Sanzo: What state master?

K.M.: …I don't know! That's for you to find out!

Sanzo: Yes master.

K.M.: …Stop calling me that..! angry…

Sanzo: Yes master.

K.M.: Nerve coming out So… Shall we begin?

Sanzo: Yes… Kiya-sama…

K.M.: Sanzo… That doesn't make any difference… Now… Go back to your normal grouchy persona and let's get this over with! So many ravenous fans already want to know more about you! Plus… I still have seven samurais to attend to…

Sanzo: Yes…

K.M.: Sigh of relief…

Sanzo: … Osho-sama…

K.M.: thousands of nerves forming that you can already make out the lines of her artery… (Sanzo… You're a very funny monk…) Okay Sanzo… Are you back now?

Sanzo: …

K.M.: Ummm… Sanzo?

Sanzo: …

K.M.: Ummm… Hi? Hello? Sanzo-sama?

Sanzo: … Where am I?

K.M.: You're being interviewed of course!

Sanzo: Interviewed… For what?

K.M.: So that your fans can recognize you a little better…

Sanzo: What about my fans?

K.M.: They'd like to praise you a lot more…

Sanzo: … Go ahead…

K.M.: Okay Sanzo! To start off, tell us about your past! What were you like when you were a kid?

Sanzo: … I was a kid… Normal… Found in a basket floating in the river…. And… That's the reason why I was named Koryu…

K.M.: … Ummm… The question was: What were you like?

Sanzo: Well… I was silent, the disciple of the last Sanzo and I was more Disciplined unlike the older monks around me…

K.M.: So, you were different?

Sanzo: Yes I was different from the other monks…

K.M.: That's a nice background of who you were when you were a kid!

Sanzo: Can I ask?

K.M.: Yes?

Sanzo: Why am I telling you all of this against my own free will?

K.M.: Oh! That's because I hypnotized you! But after you awaken from the hypnotism spell, you will forget that I ever did hypnotize you!

Sanzo: … Whatever…

K.M.: (Music to my ears…) Okay, tell us… Why do you get easily angry with Goku and Gojyo?

Sanzo: Hmph! Those two bakas are not worth anything! (A/N: Ehem.. I'm just following what Sanzo would say, no doubt! puppy-dog eyes) That monkey complains too much about his bottomless stomach and that water imp snores so loudly! Even on the day time you can here him snore…. Like a hungry… fish….

Gojyo: I HEARD THAT, MONK!

Sanzo: Points his gun 'YA GONNA DO SOMETHIN' ABOUT IT, HORNY WATER IMP?

K.M.: Errr…. Sanzo…. Breath in…. Breath out….

Sanzo: Did what Kiya said

K.M.: Now… For the love of the public… And for the love that this is a rated K+ interview…. Put down the gun, Sanzo-sama…

Sanzo: Hesitantly puts down the gun

K.M.: Okay… Now-

Gojyo: BLEH! CORRUPT MONK!

Sanzo: nerve forming That's it! Takes out his OH-SO disposable gun and shoots Gojyo.

Gojyo: Whahahah! You missed me!

Sanzo: Who said I was aiming for you?

K.M.: Eh? Looks behind Gojyo… Sanzo just shot… The cameraman…

Sanzo: Hmph!

K.M.: Oh well! Fuzzy Lumpkins can always replace the cameraman!

Fuzzy: Ei! Get off of my property!

K.M.: Fuzzy… Please be a dear or else I'll tell them what your greatest fear is!

Fuzzy: whimpering Not that! Anything but… Squi- Squir… ell….

K.M.: Okay! Please operate the camera!

Fuzzy: Yes ma'm!

K.M.: That's a good boy! turns to Sanzo Now Sanzo-sama. Let's just skip the part about Hakkai, shall we?

Sanzo: Whatever… puts down the gun

K.M.: How many times have you been smoking?

Sanzo: … Forty times a day… Since I was thirteen…

K.M.: (oo) Forty times…. A day?

Sanzo: Yeah… What's it to you?

K.M.: Nothing special… It's just… You don't get lung cancer?

Sanzo: What's that suppose to be? People with blonde hair have stuntmen… Remember Kyuzo in Samurai 7?

K.M.: How could I forget? His unfortunate stuntman died…

Chiharu: Let's not forget about the clones!

K.M.: Let's get back!

Sanzo: Whatever…

K.M.: So Sanzo… When do you think you guys will be getting to Tenjiku?

Sanzo: … Who knows… Will it be the next day… The next month… The next year…

K.M.: (that is so long! At that rate, I can always say that: Sanzo+Goku+Gojyo+Hakkai BIG TROUBLE and some contusions…) Okay… What about Goku?

Sanzo: What about the monkey?

K.M.: Do you still feel like punching him?

Sanzo: Everyday…. Is already like…. Certain… Abuse… For him… Possibilities for him to get more abused is… 100...

K.M.: Sweat drop okay, Sanzo! This is the last question! What do you think about the fake Sanzo-ikkou… The Sanzo there was… Ehem Bald?

Sanzo: I think… That no one can compete with my natural appearance…

K.M.: Meaning…?

Sanzo: I'm not bald… Nor am I an old hag…

K.M.: Thank you Sanzo! I was going to ask you more questions but… I see that this other questions are very… Shall I say… Disturbing?

Sanzo: Whatever it might be… I don't care….

K.M.: Sweat drop

Goku: Hello, Kiya-chan!

K.M.: Goku!

Goku: Kiya-chan… Can I ask… What are these? Takes out two dolls that looks a lot like Sanzo and Gojyo…

K.M.: Those… Are my voodoo dolls…

Goku: Wow! Smirks. Get's a needle and pricks the Gojyo voodoo doll

Gojyo: OUCH! Why you! Get's a bucket of boiling water and dips a Goku voodoo doll in

K.M.: shouts because Goku and Gojyo were yelling at each other NOW! SANZO! I COMMAND YOU TO…

Gojyo: Hakkai! Get this monkey that ACTS LIKE A STUPID MONKEY away from me!

K.M.: …. ACT LIKE A STUPID MONKEY… covers her mouth Oops!

Sanzo: Oooh Ahhh Ahhh! acting like a monkey

K.M.: Oh no…

Goku: stops toturing the Gojyo voodoo doll Sanzo?

Sanzo: Ooooh Ohhhh!

Gojyo: Ummm… Did I just make you say something that you shouldn't have said?

K.M.: Yep…

Gojyo: Oh well! Hakkai! Let's get outta here!

Hakkai: No can do, Gojyo!

Gojyo: Why not?

Hakkai: Because… The credit card is with Sanzo!

Gojyo: So?

Hakkai: No credit card… NO cigarettes! And edible food… We don't want to eat poisonous sea urchins now, do we?

Gojyo: NO! THE HORROR! Kid! Get Sanzo back!

Goku: AAAAHHH! NO MORE SEA URCHINS! GET SANZO BACK, PLEASE!

K.M.: Sorry, Gojyo! Sad to say that the hypnotism spell is only to make other people do what you want against their free will!

Gojyo: So… What happens if you made him an animal?

K.M.: It'll take 24 hours to revise it!

Gojyo: WHAT? TWO STUPID MONKEIES!

Goku: HEY!

Sanzo: OOOOHHH! AAAAHH! AAAHH! translation: SHUT UP, HORNY WATE IMP! Attempted to shoot Gojyo

Gojyo: YIKES!

K.M.: Be careful, Gojyo! Sanzo still has his conscious mind, you know!

Gojyo: All right… But it was your fault!

K.M.: No… It wasn't MY fault. Because you distracted me, I ended saying the wrong words! It was actually… Your fault

Gojyo and Goku: YIKES!

Hakkai: Oh… He'll be mad, ne?

K.M.: Yeah... Anyway, I wish you luck! I've gotta go! Bye Hakkai! Bye Gojyo! Bye Goku! Bye Sanzo! Thanks for the interview!

Hakkai: Bye, Kiya-chan!

Goku: Bye, Kiya! Thanks for letting me have these nifty voodoo dolls!

Gojyo: Great! Thanks for adding a monkey!

A gunshot is heard

Gojyo: I was just kidding Sanzo!

Sanzo: oooooohhh! Oooohhh! You just wait 'til I turn back, you ERRO KAPPA! This is all your fault!

And so… We all see the four men… A mother hen, a stupid monkey, a horny water imp, and a corrupt monk… currently acting like a monkey, continue with there journey to the west.

Author's Note: Well? What did you think? I slaved all night to finish it! Don't worry! I'm still gonna include what happened 24 hours later! I'm still deciding if I should still interview the Kougaiji-ikkou! What do you think? Reviews please!

Oh yeah! I would like to thank my beloved cousin, Rueniss for helping me with the fic! And a very indispensable friend of mine, Deathcard! She was the one who thought of Zakuro… (Who really is a real character in Saiyuki Reload Gunlock… I didn't know.. really…)

Azren Out! 'Til Chew Toys Fly! Ja Ne!


	5. Porkchop

**Disclaimer:** NO! I don't own Saiyuki or its characters!

But rumor has it that I own the four reporters. And if I pray really hard and be a good little author and update… I may be able to obtain… WORLD DOMINATION! WAHAHAHA!

**Author's Note:** Hello to the world! You might be asking where I've been for the last twomonth and a half and… 35 minutes. I was just holding the Saiyuki cast hostage and made them spit IT out (whatever they had to spit out) by using an expired lollipop and a cute yellow daisy! Anyway… Chapter 5! Oh yeah! Thanks for the reviews! It was unexpected… 16! It really encouraged me to continue with the upcoming interviews. Happy reading! Review after please!

Lirin

Good day to all! It's me again! Chiharu Daiki! We found GENSOMADEN SAIYUKI'S Lirin up in the tree. She seem to be looking for the Sanzo-ikkou… I'm climbing up the tree to catch an interview with her.

C.D.: Hello there, Lirin-chan!

Lirin: Lirin…. CHAN? HEY! Don't treat me like a little girl!

C.D.: Awww….. Come on! You have to admit that you are!

Lirin: Do you want to face my wrath?

C.D.: Hmmm… Maybe later… Right now, I want to interview you!

Lirin: "What if I say no?"

C.D.: "Too bad! I made those pork buns especially for you!"

Goku: "Hey! What about me!"

C.D.: "Go find a banana, monkey!"

Goku: "That's mean!"

C.D.: Points randomly somewhere "Look over there! A tasty bird!"

Goku: Acts like a dog "Where? Where?"

C.D.: "Over there! Beside that man-eating mangrove! (If there are such things…)

Goku: "Goodie!" Runs off to the man eating mangrove.

C.D.: Anyway… Those pork buns will just be…

Lirin: "YES! INTERVIEW ME! BY ALL MEANS!

C.D.: (Gladly) Ehem! "You do love pork buns don't you?

Lirin: "Ai! I LOVE PORK BUNS!"

C.D.: "So! Tell us about yourself!"

Lirin: "Well, my name is Lirin, I like to kick the butts of the Sanzo-ikkou, and I'm the little sister of my Oni-chan, Kougaiji and I LOVE PORK BUNS!"

C.D.: "Yeah, you do love pork buns…"

C.D.: "I LOVE PORK BUNS! I'm GONNA NAME MY FIRST CHILD…. PORK BUN!"

C.D.: (I feel sad for the child…) "Next question! Isn't your mother Gyokumen Koushu?

Lirin: Pouts. "Yeah… She's my mother… Why are you asking?

C.D.: "No special reason… I can just relate you relationship with your mother with the Joy Luck Club!"

Lirin: "WHAT? OMG! That is soooo not true! I'd rather elope with Goku than being with that woman who is too sadistic around my brother and his mother!

C.D.: Looks strangely at Lirin… (ELOPE…? WITH… GOKU? Did I hear right?) smirks. "Ummmm… What did you just say about Goku?"

Lirin: "Ummm… Nothing?" A halo appears above her.

C.D.: Are you sure? I thought I just heard you say… ELPOE…

Lirin: Well… I did say ELOPE…

C.D.: Sooo… You like him then!

Lirin: But elope has a meaning! E.L.O.P.E.!

C.D.: U-huh.. What does it mean?

Lirin: Well.. Uhhhh… Uhhhhh… E…. E is… Ummm… Enter?

C.D.: Yeah… Go on…

Lirin: L is… mmmm…(Not love! Not Love! I'm suppose to be immune to that)

C.D.: "What? Love? Like?"

Lirin: NO! Hmmm….LOATHING…

C.D.: Yeah… O is… what?

Lirin: Ummm…. Over?

C.D.: " And P?"

Lirin: Ehem… "Uhhhh… Population?"

C.D.: "Interesting…. One more…"

Lirin: (What's E? WHAT'S E?)

C.D.: writing a letter ( "Dear Goku, as much as I enjoy taunting you about Lirin, the things that I have said came true and Lirin seriously wants to elope with you as soon as possible… This is no joke… I recorded it all! She wants to meet you at Tenjiku and get married…")

Lirin: E! ECCENTRICITY!

E- Enter

L- Loathing

O- Over

P- Populing

E- Eccentricity

C.D.: "Eccentricity? Wow… your choices of words are so… profound…

Lirin: Yeah… (What does eccentricity mean, anyway?)

C.D.: So… your loathing for Goku is overpopulating and you feel weird about it?

Lirin: YES! (Is that what it means?)

C.D.: (I'm gonna twist this) "So… You hate Goku… and you… Feel strange about it because… deep down… You LIKE him?"

Lirin: NO! GRRR… YOU'RE TWISTING WHAT I JUST SAID!

C.D.: (I know!) "Awww… Sorry Lirin! Would you like to skip that part?"

Lirin: "Gladly…"

C.D.: "Okay! Next question: Why did the… (What the hell? Who is the script writer?) Why did the chicken cross the road?

Lirin: What? Chicken? Where? Where's the yummy chicken?

C.D.: It crossed the road!

Lirin: "Why?"

C.D.: "That's why I'm asking you!"

Lirin: "Hmmm… The chicken crossed the road because… I was askin' it for dinner! Yum! Chicken ala King!

C.D.: "Wow… So… Why did the caterpillar cross the road?" (What a question… Do they still pay the scriptwriter for this?)

Lirin: … Did you say… Caterpillar?

C.D.: Ummm… Yeah…

Lirin: trembles "I HATE CATERPILLARS! I don't know why… it must have something to do with me being isolated in the bathroom with nothing but the…." Trembles "Bar of soap…"

C.D.: (What're the connection of a caterpillar and a bar of soap?) "You don't know why you hate caterpillars? Would you mind looking at your left?"

Lirin: turns to her left. And saw something… she stood up on the branch and panicked.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! A CATERPILLAR! A CUTE, SQUISHY CATERPILLAR! THE HORROR!"

Caterpillar: "Waaaahhhh… BAR OF SOAP! WAHAHAHA! FEAR ME!

Lirin: "NOOOOOO! SADISTIC CATERPILLAR!" Punches the branch where the caterpillar was… Only… It turned out to be the same branch they were sitting on… They fell…

C.D.: "Ouch… My head…. I think I might get cerebral aneurysm…"

Lirin: …

C.D.: Hey….?

Lirin: "What happened?"

C.D.: (this girl is such an amnesiac freak…)Ummmm…. Caterpillar accident…

Goku: Hello! Where was the birdie, Chiharu-chan?"

Lirin: ….

C.D.: Ummmm…. Lirin?

Lirin: … "CA-CA-CATERPILLAR!" points at Goku. Obviously, Lirin is having delusions…

C.D.: (?) "What the…"

Goku: "Eh? What's up with you?

Lirin: "Evil Caterpillar! The one that said.. 'Bar of Soap!' The horror! Evil green soap!" takes out a steak and a hammer… "Die, EVIL!"

Goku: "What the… OH NO! I'm TOO HUNGRY TO BE A CATERPILLAR! LET ALONE GET STEAKED!" Runs off….

Lirin: "Wahahaha! FEAR ME! EVIL CATERPILLAR!" **(A/N: Somehow, if you let me interview innocent anime characters… They end up having brain damages and hallucinations…)**

C.D.: sweat drop… "Okay…. That was weird… No more 'Why did the chicken crossed the road?' questions…"

Kiya: "But I wonder why Goku didn't beat her up?"

C.D.: "Maybe because she's a girl and he… Likes her…"

Kiya: Good point… (Err… How were a caterpillar and a soap connected anyway?)

C.D.: "Very weird… I guess I'll just have to say good bye some other time then…

Author's Note: Wahahaha! I'm Done! At last! Chapter 5! I don't know where I got that caterpillar idea. We had our science class and we had to find some… Ewww! Bugs and other living objects that live in the ground! So far we found ten worms and three fat, squishy, and hairy caterpillars. The soap part… I don't what's the relation of it… I don't even know which world I got that. But it still worked out! Now on to chapter six! The infamous, skilled, bro of the century! Dokugakuji… Or Jien if you want…. R&R!


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